Thursday, May 27, 2010

Zach & Gracie

Zach is our grandson, he's seven years old. He's delightful, informative and busy. This past month he broke his forearm - both bones and is now sporting a cast and a rod in his arm for support. It's a waterproof cast and so now he can go swimming too and not miss out on the summer activities. Mom & Dad recently bought a pool for the backyard and they're anxious for the weather for brighten up so the kids can go in.


Zach is a Cub Scout and hopes to camp out one weekend soon with his Dad. He loves legos and is always working on a project. He's good a card and magic tricks and loves to show his latest to anyone who will watch.


Gracie is our granddaughter, she's five years old. She's motivated, helpful and inquisitive. She wants to be just like Mommy. She loves to cook, she's great at helping clean up in the kitchen (when it's her idea) and she loves us to pieces. She likes to play beauty parlor, likes to wear make-up and paint her nails. She can be quite the charmer and usually gets what she wants, as long as she promises to clean up. Her grandpa even lets her "wash and style" his hair!


They are delightful. Last weekend we went to Big Eagle Lake and they fished from their boat and we fished from ours. When they were frustrated that the fish weren't biting, they'd play with toys they brought along. Zach brought his motorized speed boat and Gracie brought her Jasmine doll. So when Zach launched his boat, he discovered the batteries were dead...and Gracie decided that Jasmine was probably not her favorite, maybe it was Barbie.


But when I caught the 22 inch Northern, they got their poles in the water and were fishing once again and hoping for a bite! So sweet, wish the age could last longer. There were no more bites on the lines so we started back to shore and home. We'd gotten some good pictures lots of nature shots out there....Canadian Geese families and fish jumping. There were low fluffy clouds and sprinkles of rain here and here, but mostly overcast.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Tie a Knot & Hangin' on

We have just one thing that makes each of us real. Our thoughts. Some of us choose to write them down, others don't...but everyone's got 'em and they all have value.
Think, thank, thunk....value added = 100%.

Friday, May 21, 2010

Reaching the End of My Rope


So here it is: I'm not worried about dying, I'm worried about dying before I complete my purpose in life. How do I know I have a purpose? I have an overwhelming urge to write and keep writing -the subject doesn't really matter, I would write about anything I just have an obsession about writing. I hear dialog in my head all day long, stories, discussions - it's all internal.

My high school and college teachers pushed me to pursue writing as a career. But back then it felt like it would take too long to make real money and I wanted to earn a living NOW. All these years I've managed to turn a deaf ear to the voice in my head telling me to pick it up, get going and make it happen.

This writer's block that I have is stopping me from breaking through. I can feel it and I can't get around it, under it, over it or through it. It's killing me, making me physically ill - slowly, painfully, needlessly.

So, after much thought and more pushing from family, I thought I'd take baby steps and just put one foot in front of the other - slowly and start here. Here I will just let it flow.

Why didn't I journal, you ask? Like most young girls, I did journal at first, but no privacy and 8 siblings well, let's just say that I had a bad experience with others reading it and swore I wouldn't go there again. I prefer typing to handwriting and some people have issues with that too. Hey, baby steps right?

I thought I'd be retired by now, maybe working very part-time and spending more time with my grandchildren. But the economy went south, John lost his job and I really need to stay at work - how do I throw that out the window? I best be hanging on with both hands. So I'm angry. I did my part, played by the rules, worked my adult life outside the home, saved what we could while raising two sons and just kept going. Now I want to take the time to develop my talents - it's my time, it's my turn. I'm tired of the internal struggle to rise above this feeling of being cheated, robbed of my dreams to be free of the work-a-day struggle. It helps to know there are a few million people in the same situation as I am, maybe some day we'll get to retire - together!

Writing will be theraputic for me and I need to keep at it. I need to look outside of myself and get involved in an outlet for my issues - I just gotta keep moving.