So here it is: I'm not worried about dying, I'm worried about dying before I complete my purpose in life. How do I know I have a purpose? I have an overwhelming urge to write and keep writing -the subject doesn't really matter, I would write about anything I just have an obsession about writing. I hear dialog in my head all day long, stories, discussions - it's all internal.
My high school and college teachers pushed me to pursue writing as a career. But back then it felt like it would take too long to make real money and I wanted to earn a living NOW. All these years I've managed to turn a deaf ear to the voice in my head telling me to pick it up, get going and make it happen.
This writer's block that I have is stopping me from breaking through. I can feel it and I can't get around it, under it, over it or through it. It's killing me, making me physically ill - slowly, painfully, needlessly.
So, after much thought and more pushing from family, I thought I'd take baby steps and just put one foot in front of the other - slowly and start here. Here I will just let it flow.
Why didn't I journal, you ask? Like most young girls, I did journal at first, but no privacy and 8 siblings well, let's just say that I had a bad experience with others reading it and swore I wouldn't go there again. I prefer typing to handwriting and some people have issues with that too. Hey, baby steps right?
I thought I'd be retired by now, maybe working very part-time and spending more time with my grandchildren. But the economy went south, John lost his job and I really need to stay at work - how do I throw that out the window? I best be hanging on with both hands. So I'm angry. I did my part, played by the rules, worked my adult life outside the home, saved what we could while raising two sons and just kept going. Now I want to take the time to develop my talents - it's my time, it's my turn. I'm tired of the internal struggle to rise above this feeling of being cheated, robbed of my dreams to be free of the work-a-day struggle. It helps to know there are a few million people in the same situation as I am, maybe some day we'll get to retire - together!
Writing will be theraputic for me and I need to keep at it. I need to look outside of myself and get involved in an outlet for my issues - I just gotta keep moving.
My high school and college teachers pushed me to pursue writing as a career. But back then it felt like it would take too long to make real money and I wanted to earn a living NOW. All these years I've managed to turn a deaf ear to the voice in my head telling me to pick it up, get going and make it happen.
This writer's block that I have is stopping me from breaking through. I can feel it and I can't get around it, under it, over it or through it. It's killing me, making me physically ill - slowly, painfully, needlessly.
So, after much thought and more pushing from family, I thought I'd take baby steps and just put one foot in front of the other - slowly and start here. Here I will just let it flow.
Why didn't I journal, you ask? Like most young girls, I did journal at first, but no privacy and 8 siblings well, let's just say that I had a bad experience with others reading it and swore I wouldn't go there again. I prefer typing to handwriting and some people have issues with that too. Hey, baby steps right?
I thought I'd be retired by now, maybe working very part-time and spending more time with my grandchildren. But the economy went south, John lost his job and I really need to stay at work - how do I throw that out the window? I best be hanging on with both hands. So I'm angry. I did my part, played by the rules, worked my adult life outside the home, saved what we could while raising two sons and just kept going. Now I want to take the time to develop my talents - it's my time, it's my turn. I'm tired of the internal struggle to rise above this feeling of being cheated, robbed of my dreams to be free of the work-a-day struggle. It helps to know there are a few million people in the same situation as I am, maybe some day we'll get to retire - together!
Writing will be theraputic for me and I need to keep at it. I need to look outside of myself and get involved in an outlet for my issues - I just gotta keep moving.
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