Early last month, grandson Zach broke his arm. At first it seemed he was on to a quick recovery there were a few set backs, a couple of surgeries, but now he's well on his way to mending.
His parents, John & Jenn, have chosen to raise their son and daughter without all the trappings of organized religion. Which in their minds borders on superstition and serves to get in the way of a direct one on one relationship with the creator. Jenn believes in dreams, karma and other beliefs sometimes called New Age. As grandparents, we have mixed feelings about this choice, but this is their family, their time and their decision. We have always honored that choice.
About two weeks after the arm break, I had the grand kids over for a visit. Zach and Gracie played with the usual toys: Barbie and Bob dolls, watched a couple cartoons, and we played beauty parlor too. This is where Gracie sprays down my hair with water, drys it, combs it, brushes it, says it's suddenly too dry to style and starts over again. I just sit patiently and wrap up in a towel until she takes pity on me and it's safe to come out again. I just know she loves this routine and understand that it won't last long-they grow up so fast and she is SO into the play acting. I'll gladly make this little sacrifice for our relationship.
As we were towel drying my hair, Zach picked up his Lego blocks. This is an older set, where the blocks are a little larger for first time builders so it was an easy build for him just now. He started laying out the blocks and setting the foundation for a building. He loves designing buildings. As he got closer to the roof line, he said, "I'm going to build a church." "OK", I said, this is a new approach coming from him and I quietly wondered where he got that idea. As he fashioned a Cross from the remaining blocks on top of the building, he asked for the box of peel & stick foam letters to finish his church. He selected the letters - PFY - and put them just above the main entry door to his church. I asked what that meant and he said, "Pray For You".
Later, when his folks came to pick him up, Gracie and Zach told them (as they always do), what they'd been up to and how their time was spent. When Zach showed mom his church building and his explanation for it, she was not impressed. She shot a look at me,"Where did he get that idea from?" she demanded to know. "Beats me, I'm as surprised as you," I replied. We have no religious figures in the common rooms of our home, and even though we have a statue of the Sacred Heart of Jesus and Immaculate Heart of Mary, they are in our den and the grand kids are never in that room. I suggested maybe from the sitter's home? No they hadn't noticed any religious indicators there either. And Jenn didn't think their sitter would jeopardize her home business by teaching religious doctrine either. Zach offered no explanation as to where he had gotten the idea from, but Gracie smartly replied, "Well, you know I go to a church - my Montessori school is IN a church." Indeed it is. The My Own Montessori School that Gracie now attends and Zach graduated from is housed in the Union Church United Church of Christ in Elk River.
I understood Jen's question though, tensions were running a little high. We were all worried about Zach and how this break would eventually heal for him and if, after physical therapy would he regain full use of his left arm. She'd recently dreamt about her grandfather, Louis (Zach's middle name, after him). She was very close to her grandpa Louis, but hadn't seen him in her dreams for years. He had died from cancer soon after she graduated from high school. Now he was back and she wasn't sure if it was to comfort her or to prepare her for difficulties ahead. I told her I hoped that he was back to comfort since she was probably reaching out seeking comfort during this difficult time in her life. She thought about that and that was my only intention. To help put a positive spin on this trying time.
A week after that, I stopped by their home, Zach had just returned home from the hospital after his second surgery and was still a little nervous and quiet about the whole day. I really needed to see him to feel better about what he had just been through. Along with me, I brought a floating Mylar balloon that said "Thinking of You" on it and the words were surrounded with a solid blue background and multi-colored butterflies-a personal favorite of mine. Then I attached a softly stuffed Sponge Bob Square Pants (Zach's favorite cartoon character at the moment) to the other end of the string to weigh it down along and also brought a chocolate or strawberry milk for Grace & Zach. They really liked the gifts and told me only the littlest bit of his scary experience that day. At least it was over and we had him back home. He wasn't his usual talkative self, so I kissed his tousled head and went home.
Yesterday, they requested a sleep-over "slumber party" at our house. So they came over at about 7pm with their overnight bags, stuffed animals, PJ's, swimsuits and a change of clothes. Zach also brought, attached to his overnight bag, the "Thinking of You" butterfly balloon. He was SO excited, it was as full and floaty as the day I had bought it for him and he wanted to show me to prove it. John & I were really surprised. Then we were all talking at the same time about the past week and things we'd done when Zach suddenly said, "Meena, I need a permanent marker." "They're in the drawer behind you to your left", I reminded him. Gracie was telling us about her Barbie doll's dress and what she'd packed to bring with her, when Jenn stopped and asked Zach why he needed the marker. We all stopped and turned to Zach and he said, "I'm going to send this balloon to God. I'm taking it outside and letting it go - He lives way up there doesn't He? But first I need to write a message on it. I'm writing on it - Hi God! And maybe he'll send it back with a message. Do you think he'll send it back? Do you think He'll answer me?" Jenn shot me another look and said, "It's got to be something in this house!"
He wrote his message on the balloon and we all went outside for its release. We stood there outside on a perfectly still quiet evening, watching the sky draw his message balloon further and further up until it was just a speck and then - gone.
I don't think you can keep spirituality from children. I believe the need to explore their relationship with their creator is innate. John & Jenn have always answered their questions when asked and taught them the Our Father and other prayers. They pray nightly before sleep, but weekly visits to a place of worship will not be part of their family experience.
His parents, John & Jenn, have chosen to raise their son and daughter without all the trappings of organized religion. Which in their minds borders on superstition and serves to get in the way of a direct one on one relationship with the creator. Jenn believes in dreams, karma and other beliefs sometimes called New Age. As grandparents, we have mixed feelings about this choice, but this is their family, their time and their decision. We have always honored that choice.
About two weeks after the arm break, I had the grand kids over for a visit. Zach and Gracie played with the usual toys: Barbie and Bob dolls, watched a couple cartoons, and we played beauty parlor too. This is where Gracie sprays down my hair with water, drys it, combs it, brushes it, says it's suddenly too dry to style and starts over again. I just sit patiently and wrap up in a towel until she takes pity on me and it's safe to come out again. I just know she loves this routine and understand that it won't last long-they grow up so fast and she is SO into the play acting. I'll gladly make this little sacrifice for our relationship.
As we were towel drying my hair, Zach picked up his Lego blocks. This is an older set, where the blocks are a little larger for first time builders so it was an easy build for him just now. He started laying out the blocks and setting the foundation for a building. He loves designing buildings. As he got closer to the roof line, he said, "I'm going to build a church." "OK", I said, this is a new approach coming from him and I quietly wondered where he got that idea. As he fashioned a Cross from the remaining blocks on top of the building, he asked for the box of peel & stick foam letters to finish his church. He selected the letters - PFY - and put them just above the main entry door to his church. I asked what that meant and he said, "Pray For You".
Later, when his folks came to pick him up, Gracie and Zach told them (as they always do), what they'd been up to and how their time was spent. When Zach showed mom his church building and his explanation for it, she was not impressed. She shot a look at me,"Where did he get that idea from?" she demanded to know. "Beats me, I'm as surprised as you," I replied. We have no religious figures in the common rooms of our home, and even though we have a statue of the Sacred Heart of Jesus and Immaculate Heart of Mary, they are in our den and the grand kids are never in that room. I suggested maybe from the sitter's home? No they hadn't noticed any religious indicators there either. And Jenn didn't think their sitter would jeopardize her home business by teaching religious doctrine either. Zach offered no explanation as to where he had gotten the idea from, but Gracie smartly replied, "Well, you know I go to a church - my Montessori school is IN a church." Indeed it is. The My Own Montessori School that Gracie now attends and Zach graduated from is housed in the Union Church United Church of Christ in Elk River.
I understood Jen's question though, tensions were running a little high. We were all worried about Zach and how this break would eventually heal for him and if, after physical therapy would he regain full use of his left arm. She'd recently dreamt about her grandfather, Louis (Zach's middle name, after him). She was very close to her grandpa Louis, but hadn't seen him in her dreams for years. He had died from cancer soon after she graduated from high school. Now he was back and she wasn't sure if it was to comfort her or to prepare her for difficulties ahead. I told her I hoped that he was back to comfort since she was probably reaching out seeking comfort during this difficult time in her life. She thought about that and that was my only intention. To help put a positive spin on this trying time.
A week after that, I stopped by their home, Zach had just returned home from the hospital after his second surgery and was still a little nervous and quiet about the whole day. I really needed to see him to feel better about what he had just been through. Along with me, I brought a floating Mylar balloon that said "Thinking of You" on it and the words were surrounded with a solid blue background and multi-colored butterflies-a personal favorite of mine. Then I attached a softly stuffed Sponge Bob Square Pants (Zach's favorite cartoon character at the moment) to the other end of the string to weigh it down along and also brought a chocolate or strawberry milk for Grace & Zach. They really liked the gifts and told me only the littlest bit of his scary experience that day. At least it was over and we had him back home. He wasn't his usual talkative self, so I kissed his tousled head and went home.
Yesterday, they requested a sleep-over "slumber party" at our house. So they came over at about 7pm with their overnight bags, stuffed animals, PJ's, swimsuits and a change of clothes. Zach also brought, attached to his overnight bag, the "Thinking of You" butterfly balloon. He was SO excited, it was as full and floaty as the day I had bought it for him and he wanted to show me to prove it. John & I were really surprised. Then we were all talking at the same time about the past week and things we'd done when Zach suddenly said, "Meena, I need a permanent marker." "They're in the drawer behind you to your left", I reminded him. Gracie was telling us about her Barbie doll's dress and what she'd packed to bring with her, when Jenn stopped and asked Zach why he needed the marker. We all stopped and turned to Zach and he said, "I'm going to send this balloon to God. I'm taking it outside and letting it go - He lives way up there doesn't He? But first I need to write a message on it. I'm writing on it - Hi God! And maybe he'll send it back with a message. Do you think he'll send it back? Do you think He'll answer me?" Jenn shot me another look and said, "It's got to be something in this house!"
He wrote his message on the balloon and we all went outside for its release. We stood there outside on a perfectly still quiet evening, watching the sky draw his message balloon further and further up until it was just a speck and then - gone.
I don't think you can keep spirituality from children. I believe the need to explore their relationship with their creator is innate. John & Jenn have always answered their questions when asked and taught them the Our Father and other prayers. They pray nightly before sleep, but weekly visits to a place of worship will not be part of their family experience.
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